Mark Easton, the BBC’s Home Editor, has rightly emphasised the importance of having friends or ‘company’ as an important factor in improving our health and increasing our longevity.

He decided to dig a bit deeper when the No 10 adviser said that loneliness is probably more dangerous to our health in retirement than smoking, to look at the research that underpinned that statement.

It is, as you’ll see if you clicked the link, pretty detailed and obtuse research which can be reduced to those with stronger social relationships had a 50 per cent increased likelihood of survival than those who lived more solitary lives.

Easton points out that research going back 30 years also showed that loneliness, or lack of social interaction, resulted in higher rates of mortality than expected.

These findings come under the heading of common sense. Humans have evolved as social creatures. Working and living together has enabled our survival and success. Being alone, not through choice but by circumstance we would rather avoid, makes us miserable, lethargic, demotivated and vulnerable.

He makes the point that if the evidence, not to mention our common sense understanding of our need for community and company, proves that loneliness is a ‘killer’, we should do more to prevent it.

Now whether it’s the job of the Government to try to make older people have more friends is doubtful. But they should give greater support to charities such as Contact the Elderly and Independent Age whose excellent schemes to reduce elderly isolation are underfunded.

They should also use the Big Society Network to create more intergenerational contact projects which will encourage young people to befriend older people and coach them to be more computer confident…and less lonely through use of the internet. The older people can impart their wisdom and knowledge to their younger friends who, in some cases, will be less likely to join gangs or participate in petty crime.

We at My Last Song are encouraged that the issues facing older people are now being seriously considered, whether it be funding their care, understanding how they want to die, giving them the send-off  they want and helping them living longer, healthier and happier lives.

Why is this important? Just look at the demographics of this country (and indeed the US where the research was carried out)…the 70 year old plus group is the fastest growing with almost 7 million people aged 70 and over by 2015 in England alone. There will be far more than this in the US. Their needs must be taken seriously.

I would like to draw your attention to interesting content put on the internet recently by Ken Murray, a Clinical Assistant Professor of Family Medicine at the University of Southern California.

Entitled How Doctors Die, it is puts the case for non-intervention once death is inevitable.

It argues that advances in medical science and equipment combined with the professional requirements of doctors  to keep people alive as long as possible has increased the likelihood of futile intervention and unnecessary suffering.

Tellingly, he states that doctors themselves are horrified of the prospect of ending their lives in such circumstances and are choosing in ever increasing numbers to insist that their fellow physicians do not intervene if death is inevitable.

“They want to be sure, when the time comes, that no heroic measures will happen – that they will never experience, during their last moments on earth, someone breaking their ribs in an attempt to resuscitate them with CPR (cardiopulmonary resuscitation).

“Almost all medical professionals have seen what we call ‘futile care’ being performed on people. That’s when doctors bring the cutting edge of technology to bear on a grievously ill person near the end of life. The patient will get cut open, perforated with tubes, hooked up to machines, and assaulted with drugs.

“All of this occurs in the Intensive Care Unit at a cost of tens of thousands of dollars a day. What it buys is misery…I cannot count the number of times fellow physicians have told me, in words that vary only slightly, ‘Promise me if you find me like this that you’ll kill me.’ They mean it.”

My Last Song believes a good life deserves a good death, and that futile intervention and prolonging suffering is not a good death.

We also believe that we should be in charge of how we want to die, not leave it to our loved ones – which is unfair, or medical professionals – which is too random.

We have argued many times in the past that society should face up to death and dying in a more positive, emotion-free way than is currently the case, and that this will be more likely if people are encouraged to discuss how their own death should be managed.

We have created a holistic death plan template which includes medical, emotional, physical and spiritual issues to be agreed, as well as advice on things that need to be sorted before death to prevent stressful worries. 

Used properly, and involving the patient, their close loved ones, their medical professionals – and if appropriate a minister of religion, it will be a major step in achieving a comfortable, comforting death.

It’s the death that doctors want for themselves and that should be the norm for the rest of us.

During the past 40 years or so, a huge numbers of people in the poorer nations have been paid not much for doing a lot, while in the developed world many people have been paid a lot for doing not much.

And that, dear readers, is why there is now an irrevocable shift in the world’s economic order.

Those in the UK will be aware of the scores of thousands of jobs in the public sector, created by Labour and Conservative governments, which are not in the slightest bit productive. Many, but by no means all, are necessary to make our society run more smoothly, to help the disadvantaged, to regulate, to administer, to advise.

The private sector is also teeming with well paid overstaffed functions which produce little of value at one end of the scale, and hugely overpaid executives and directors at the other.

The service industries are particularly good at paying their staff a lot of money by providing services that might add value, but produce little that has a tangible long term worth.

In private and public sectors, the pay and conditions have been protected first by trade unions and later by the collective greed of workers and bosses scratching each others’ backs, unified by the shallow values of the baby boomers. Lots of people shouting ‘Me, Me, Me!’ soon becomes ‘Us, Us, Us!’.

Until only a short time ago, our pay increased every year, bonuses went up, pensions rose and our working life reduced.  As we live longer, our retirement extends and with it the time greater numbers of people are being paid for doing nothing.

We are now facing the consequences of an economy which has for decades been based on unproductive overpaid employment as our population grows increasingly old.

Meanwhile in countries such as India, China, Brazil, Vietnam, Korea, and increasingly in Africa and South America, vast and growing numbers of people have been working very hard from an early age until they expire making goods or harvesting food or extracting raw materials, all of which are sold for a profit. Their pay has been low, and kept low – talk of workers’ rights getting you imprisoned or laughed at.

In the UK, the increased income was used to borrow to buy property on the erroneous assumption that this would permanently gain in value. With our property as a safety net, we cheerfully got further in debt to buy more goods and foodstuffs, most of them made and grown by the millions upon millions of people in the by now fast developing world.

And so those countries grew richer as we got more in debt. That debt couldn’t be sustained once the property edifice started to shake and values dropped. Banks had huge books of toxic debt, interbank lending ceased and overstretched banks had to be bailed out by the government.

In many other developed states without a solid manufacturing base and without a well developed service sector, the situation is worse. In the southern European countries productivity per head is falling from a low figure, pensions are over generous, retirement age is in the 50s, working hours are low, unemployment high and tax payments a small proportion of what they should be.

Contradictions within the EU mean that a common currency is untenable; Germany will be able to make the financial rules, and enforce the austerity measures for a two tier Europe.

The electorates in these countries won’t like being told to accept reduced hand outs, pensions, to work longer and harder, but fundamental economic decisions won’t be influenced by the ballot box as much as by the markets and credit rating companies.

Funding the bail out of bankrupt economies are those countries in the developing world who have become very rich as money has flowed into their treasuries from the developed nations. China, India and the emerging economic countries will get us out of this mess, because it’s in their interest to do so, but the rules will be forever changed.

So the world is now one where in the west our lives are less influenced by democratic decisions than by the bond markets; Germany has gained economic and political hegemony in much of Europe, and countries such as China and India are more powerful than the UK, France, Italy, Spain and before long the US.

It was never supposed to be like this, but we had better realise that the old order, shaped by statesmen and industrialists after the second world war, has changed forever.

Today’s damning review by the Health Service Ombudsman of the medical treatment of elderly patients will make frightening reading for hundreds of thousands of older people and their loved ones.

The ombudsman, Ann Abraham, said the patients whose cases she reviewed suffered unnecessary pain, neglect and distress.

Her review is even more chilling when one bears in mind the huge increase in the number of older people the NHS will be treating in the years ahead. Those who are 70 and older are the fastest growing section of the population and in 2015 will measure well over seven million in England alone.

It is a sad fact that many old people who are admitted to hospital then die there, against their wishes and those of their loved ones.

This desire not to end one’s life in hospital will be made stronger by the growing belief that the standard of medical care will not be of the expected level, highlighted by today’s findings.

So it is even more essential then to address the uncomfortable issues about end of life treatment, care levels and, yes, death.

People are entitled to a ‘good death’, not a lonely, frightening and sad ending.

Which is why I’m such a strong advocate of the introduction of personalised death plans. These will encourage the ailing, their close family members and their doctors to address issues such as the level of medical intervention and where they wish to die.

The death plan provided by My Last Song also includes decisions such as who the dying patient wants to be present, the spiritual needs of the patient and the issues that will, as much as possible, ensure a ‘good death’, such as the music or readings they want to hear, the aromas they want to smell, the way they want to be touched and the comforting mental state of knowing their affairs are in order, their loved ones, pets, possessions etc have been properly dealt with and their funeral wishes will be carried out.

Until our society takes a much more proactive and responsible attitude to dying, death and the way in which our elderly are treated when in hospital or indeed other places in which they receive care, we will continue to read reports of unacceptable yet avoidable cases of their poor medical treatment and unnecessary suffering.

Death plans must become more commonly accepted ways in which we take control of our ‘end of life’ experience, for the benefit of the old, their families and those whose task it is to provide treatment, care and comfort.

Following the British Medical Journal’s website discussion about death and dying, Dr Chris Browne who edits the health and fitness section of My Last Song, has put out a statement saying that doctors treating the very old or terminally ill should encourage them to write their own personal death plans.

“The reluctance of patients and their families to discuss death as the likely outcome of an illness or because of old age makes their end of life medical management more difficult.

“If by filling in a death plan the patient, the family and the appropriate health professionals have a more meaningful discussion, the result is likely to be a more positive approach with obvious benefits for the patient, their loved ones and the medical staff treating them.

“By having a personal death plan, the patient and the family will be more reassured that the time leading up to the final moments will be as comfortable and comforting as possible.

“As a GP I believe that death plans should be encouraged as a way of changing attitudes towards death and dying.”

Within the Lifebox section of My Last Song is a death plan templatewhich allows people to state:

• how much they want to be told about their condition,
• where they want to die,
• the level of medical intervention they want,
• who they want to be responsible for their end of life treatment,
• who they want to visit them when they are dying,
• who should be there when they die,
• what they want to hear, (music, poetry, drama, prayers…),
• what they want to smell (incense, scented candles, oils, flowers…),
• how they want to be touched (hand held, caressed, gentle massage…),
• issues to be cleared up so they have no worries at the end (knowing their loved ones, pets are cared for, their estate is in order, their will is up to date…).

Too many people still die a lonely, impersonal and frightening death which reinforces society’s reluctance to discuss the subject. We only die once so it should be, if possible, the experience we want it to be. Personalised death plans will make that more likely.

Thankfully there is now a concerted move to reduce the taboo surrounding death. The Dying Matters Coalition, of which My Last Song is a member, is spearheading this change of attitude towards dying, death and bereavement.

On 1 July, the General Medical Council published Treatment and Care Towards the End of Life, recommending that death should become an explicit discussion point when patients are likely to die within 12 months.

Then in September, the BMJ’s website published a piece called We’re All Going to Die. Deal with it which highlighted the need for candid discussion about palliative care and end of life medical treatment.

My Last Song supports visitors to address all their end of life issues, put their legal and financial affairs in order, organise their care options and plan their own funerals.

This information can be stored in a secure online Lifebox. Only the Lifebox owners can store and edit the information until they give permission to a close family member to open it, normally towards the end of their lives or on their death.

My Last Song believes the last part of your life should be the best part.

And where possible, people should be as fit and healthy for as long as possible, which is why it has a comprehensive Health and Fitness section with advice such as Staying Healthier Longer.

One of the age related conditions we cover is Incontinence, urinary and bowel.

Bowel incontinence, other than short term due to stomach bugs, food poisoning or dietary issues, is serious and should be reported to the doctor.

Urinary incontinence is one of those conditions that can make older age seem tiresome and depressing.

Sufferers get embarrassed, lack self confidence, feel restricted in their day to day activities – so go out less, feel less inclined to socialise.

So clearly, if you want to enjoy the latter years of your life, you should overcome urinary incontinence. And, with determination and patience, you can.

The key is bladder retraining. In short, this is identifying the type of urinary incontinence from which you are suffering, and then take measures to train your bladder to work properly again.

You should gradually increase the lengths of time between passing water.  And also increase the time you take between feeling the urge to urinate and actually emptying the bladder.

There are also exercises to take, most useful being the tightening of the pelvic floor muscles.  The very excellent Bladder and Bowel Foundation has easy to follow fact sheets for men and women which guide you through the exercises.

So, if incontinence is making your older age miserable, don’t give in, take control and get your bladder retrained.