http://blog.mylastsong.com Because a good life deserves a good ending Tue, 10 Apr 2012 17:51:44 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en A touching and important blog deserves close reading, though have a tissue near by. It’s from Dr Kimberly Manning, who works at Grady Memorial Hospital, Atlanta Georgia. In it she describes how and why the decision was made not to prolong unnecessarily the life of one Mrs Cafferty and how ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2012/04/10/to-prolong-death-is-a-futile-and-costly-perversion/ I was very encouraged to read this excellent blog by Gail Ruben. Gail runs A Good Goodbye out of Albuquerque, New Mexico. Its strapline, which appeals hugely to the My Last Song team, is ‘Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die’. We have two straplines which benefit from greater brevity ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2012/04/02/funeral-films-soundtracks/ Two encouraging developments today. The first here in the UK, the second in the US. In the UK, the excellent website Gransnet, founded by Justine Roberts who previously set up Mumsnet, posted a forum on whether photographing funerals was acceptable. I’m a great fan of Gransnet, not least because of the ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2012/03/23/a-change-is-slowly-happening-were-thinking-about-the-unthinkable/ There’s probably no harder conversation to have with anyone than to tell them they are dying, or that they should consider their death. Indeed so difficult do many people find it that it’s never broached. The reluctance is understandable, discussing a person's death is likely to cause upset or raise ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2012/03/22/not-easy-to-discuss-death-but-a-plan-to-make-it-a-good-experience-will-make-it-easier/ On Mother’s Day we think about, of course, our mothers. They brought us into this world, nurtured us, educated us, paid for us and still play a big part in our lives.  For those whose mothers aren’t alive, their absence often highlights how much we loved them because we miss them ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2012/03/16/lifebox-best-present-a-mother-could-have/ I’ve had enough of The Spectator. I know it’s difficult to bring out a weekly magazine with relevant and high quality articles, but there ought to be a higher bar than the silly ranting of Stephen Pollard, whose observation of the audience booing of Dvorak’s Rusalka at the ROH has ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2012/03/13/ive-had-enough-of-the-spectator/ This morning, Dr Margaret Evison, the mother of a soldier killed in Afghanistan in 2009, was interviewed on The Today programme in the aftermath of the death of the six British soldiers. This brings the number of British service personnel killed in Afghanistan to 404. Dr Evison said that when she ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2012/03/09/we-must-learn-the-lessons-of-afghanistan/ Coffins are going through a change of image in our culture, though an understandably slow change because everything to do with the subject of death and dying is conservative, whether the funeral industry (though with notable exceptions) or our society…you’re likely to be in a group of one if you ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2012/03/09/coffins-having-an-image-make-over/ Time to fess up…’Harry’ is Bern, aka Bernie or Bernard, Shaw. His funeral yesterday was a success if defined by the emotions expressed by those who attended. Funerals will only be ‘successful’ if properly planned and that takes time and effort from those involved.  The funeral director, W Uden, did a ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2012/03/07/berns-farewell-was-a-good-funeral/ A survey on people’s end of life wishes carried out by the California Health Care Foundation in late 2011 came up with the following findings: 67%: Making sure family is not burdened financially by my care; 66%: Being comfortable and without pain; 61%: Being at peace spiritually; 60%: Making sure family is not burdened by tough decisions about ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2012/02/27/confirmation-of-the-need-for-personal-death-plans/ For the past 18 months I would call in to see my old friend Harry* on a Saturday or Sunday morning in his Clapham flat. Our long friendship started when we were in our mid-20s. He and his first wife became very good friends to my wife and I, both fairly new ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2012/02/20/i-watched-harry-die-and-did-nothing-to-stop-it/ I saw the other day a memorial message: ‘Gran will look down on us from heaven’. It made me wonder in a semi whimsical way, Where is heaven? It isn’t ‘up there’ in the sense that somewhere between the earth and space is a place where God looks down, angels flutter ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2012/02/14/where-is-heaven/ Mark Easton, the BBC’s Home Editor, has rightly emphasised the importance of having friends or ‘company’ as an important factor in improving our health and increasing our longevity. He decided to dig a bit deeper when the No 10 adviser said that loneliness is probably more dangerous to our health in retirement ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2012/02/10/friends-a-life-or-death-matter/ Congratulations to the University of Nottingham, Dying Matters and the National End of Life Care Programme for producing the excellent Planning for your future care publication. It is written in simple, positive prose and covers all aspects of Advance Care Planning including what is the most difficult aspect, 'Opening the conversation'.  ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2012/02/02/validation-for-the-my-last-song-death-plan/ Family commitments meant I couldn’t go to the Southbank Centre’s  ‘Death: Festival for the Living’ over the past weekend, but I was able to attend Paul Gambaccini’s Desert Island Death Discs session on Friday evening at which he held an enraptured audience in the palm of his hand. From the tweets ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2012/01/30/paul-gambaccinis-brilliant-desert-island-death-discs-gig/ There’s a lot happening in the normally quiet death and dying space.  Much of this activity is due to the London Southbank Centre's courageous decision to put on a week’s events centred on death, in an attempt to reduce society’s reluctance to face mortality. Part of this will be Sandi Toksvig’s ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2012/01/23/the-chances-of-having-a-good-death-are-still-slim/ When I started My Last Song four long years ago death, dying and bereavement were subjects rarely covered by media old or new. I had been to two funerals which were dreadfully inappropriate farewells and thought there must be a better way...from that My Last Song developed. At one stage it had ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2012/01/16/at-last-were-talking-about-death/ I would like to draw your attention to interesting content put on the internet recently by Ken Murray, a Clinical Assistant Professor of Family Medicine at the University of Southern California. Entitled How Doctors Die, it is puts the case for non-intervention once death is inevitable. It argues that advances in medical ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2012/01/04/how-doctors-want-to-die/ I was saddened to receive this contribution to the Gay and Lesbian Funeral Issues section of My Last Song by a contributor who asked not to have his identity revealed. It is appalling that such cruel attitudes still prevail, and difficult to know how to counter them apart from being more ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/12/30/gay-funeral-denial-causes-terrible-hurt/ I first met Roger Crouch when I joined Westminster City Council in the late 1980s. He was a special adviser to the leader, Dame Shirley Porter. She had just taken me on as head of press and PR with a remit to get her as much favourable publicity as possible. Mine ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/12/09/roger-crouch-1956-2011/ In recent weeks, Cameron, Hague and now Phillip Hammond, have been patting themselves on the back for the role NATO played in freeing Libya from the tyrannical Gaddafi regime, replacing it with an administration that will be democratic and progressive. Absolutely nothing will be said about the true situation, described below, which our ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/12/08/the-truth-about-our-interference-in-libya/ It was with more than a little sadness I learnt today of the death of singer Dobie Gray. I was in my early teens when his soul dance hit The In Crowd came out, and I loved its energy and clever hip rhymes. And I’m not the only one – someone ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/12/07/dobie-gray-an-appreciation/ Hamid Karzai, the Afghan President, told the global conference on Afghanistan's future that international support after foreign forces withdraw in 2014 is crucial if Afghanistan is to remain stable. Many observers foolishly regard a long-term international commitment to Afghanistan as critical, as Western forces prepare to leave the country by 2014. To date, ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/12/06/six-key-facts-about-afghanistan/ It would pay us to look at the world from the position of Iran if we want to prevent the current conflict escalating. Let’s then study the map  as if we are sitting in Tehran and ruling Iran. To the west is Iraq where western forces have twice invaded, the second time hunting ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/12/01/we-should-see-the-world-from-irans-point-of-view/ Geraldine Beddel, editor of Gransnet, wrote a very thoughtful piece last week which argued that our society has unwittingly colluded in the mistreatment of old people by our widespread casual ageism. Her thesis is that until we respect our elders, the pernicious cruelty towards old people will continue. While I agree with her ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/11/28/why-we-must-respect-our-elderly/ The daily revelations to the Leveson inquiry into the media illustrate  how unprincipled, tawdry and vile the media in this country has become. It's not necessary to repeat the evidence of journalists' appalling and life ruining behaviour. But this must be stopped and in doing so the professional standards of the media might just ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/11/24/leveson-must-reverse-decline-of-the-media/ Penelope Keith, now one of our ‘institutions’, has written in the Daily Telegraph that if younger people mixed more with older people they would be less inclined to break the law. The star of The Good Life and To The Manor Born is president of a prisons charity which works to ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/11/16/lifebox-will-help-intergenerational-bonding/ During the past 40 years or so, a huge numbers of people in the poorer nations have been paid not much for doing a lot, while in the developed world many people have been paid a lot for doing not much. And that, dear readers, is why there is now an irrevocable shift in the ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/11/11/weve-been-paid-too-much-for-doing-too-little/ This morning’s juxtaposition of interviews on BBC Radio 4's Today Programme with investment guru Jim Rogers (close colleague of George Soros) and Martin Sorrell, head of marketing giant WPP, provides good insight of why we face economic meltdown. Rogers gave his view about  China’s huge donation of funds into the Euro bailout fund. He stressed that the ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/10/28/we-cant-keep-buying-things-we-cant-afford/ It’s pretty clear that in his position as Secretary of State for Defence, Doctor Liam Fox has helped organise meetings at which his friend and self-styled adviser Adam Werritty has met members of foreign governments to discuss arms deals. Highly-placed sources in Sri Lanka have told Channel 4 News that both ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/10/12/why-dr-fox-is-unhealthy-for-david-cameron/ The 1st October is the International Day of Older People, and given My Last Song's appeal, we are right there in that space. The international element is the most important, in that it aims to campaign for pensions and greater provision for older people in the developing world. Alas, My Last ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/09/30/put-your-wisdom-experience-and-history-into-your-lifebox/ So Southern Cross, unsurprisingly, threw in the towel. The country's largest care home operator couldn't make ends meet. Some of the landlords of their care homes will take over the running of them. As for the others, well there are few organisations lining up to take these over and so the ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/07/12/plan-now-for-the-care-youll-need-in-the-future/ The review into Palliative Care, led by the chief executive of Marie Curie Cancer Care, Thomas Hughes-Hallett, has highlighted the fact that very many dying people don't have the end of life experience they want. Instead of a 'good death' with their loved ones by them, their emotional, physical and spiritual ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/07/01/importance-of-personal-death-plans/ My concern about David Cameron’s leadership grows. The Nato offensive in Libya, of which he was the major architect, shows little sign of success. It's costing the country many millions of pounds although a Government spokesman told us we shouldn’t worry because the money comes from a contingency budget for overseas wars. If ever confirmation was needed ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/06/21/camerons-bad-decisions/ The smiles that so readily crossed the faces of David Cameron and Barak Obama when they were together this week hid something sinister. Their message – that the world will be a better place when countries behave like theirs – is contradicted by their foreign policy actions. No sooner had Prime Minister ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/05/27/not-taken-in-by-the-smiles-mr-cameron/ General Sir David Richards, head of the armed forces, believes Nato should intensify the current campaign by targeting the infrastructure that’s keeping Col Gaddifi in power.  Otherwise, he says, we run the risk of a stalemate. Defence Secretary Liam Fox agrees that it’s legitimate to degrade the command and control and intelligence ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/05/15/why-we-want-to-get-more-involved-in-libya/  The theme of this year’s Dying Matters Coalition Awareness Week (16 to 22 May) is 'Why Dying Matters to me' which is as good as any to get people to address the taboo surrounding death. I fully support the aims of Dying Matters, a broad coalition headed by the National Council for ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/05/12/death-plans-make-talking-about-dying-easier/ It is, I think, quite a common view expressed during the funeral reception that it’s a shame the person whose life is being remembered wasn’t there to enjoy the company of the gathered friends, family, ex-colleagues, neighbours. Many people have also told me that they imagine what their funeral will be ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/04/21/living-funerals-or-how-to-celebrate-the-party-of-a-lifetime/ What a woefully dishonest letter Prime Minister Cameron and Presidents Obama and Sarkozy wrote to the world today to justify their ill judged military intervention in Libya. It was written after several members of the coalition refused to be further drawn into what will be a long and expensive military engagement as the rebel ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/04/15/our-leaders-letter-is-dishonest-and-ill-judged/ This is an edited contribution by Kwame Twumasi-Fofie to My Last Song which shows that not all Ghanaians are happy with the growing trend for expensive and party-style funerals in Ghana.  Among Ghanaians in general, and the Akan people in particular, one event that brings us together more than any other is bereavement.  In ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/04/14/not-happy-with-happy-ghanaian-funerals/ The Quakers have been philanthropists since the commercial success of Quaker family businesses and individuals in the 18th century. In 1867, Quaker Social Action (now known as QSA) was set up in the East End of London as a result of the appalling poverty affecting the working class in that area. Some 144 ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/04/07/down-to-earth-a-project-that-confronts-funeral-poverty/ Ed Miliband was given the opportunity to inspire potential Labour supporters on the Today programme when he was asked to sum up what his Party stood for. His hugely underwhelming answer: “For people to get on and do better.” This low point in an appalling interview was almost matched by his statement ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/03/31/party-leaders-failings-point-to-new-political-philosophy-not-just-voting-system/ Emotionally I’m an interventionist rather than an isolationist. When I see innocent people suffer whether at the hands of their rulers, victims of natural disasters, or subject to discrimination and bullying I donate to emergency appeals, support societal change and confront bullies. But I still cannot see any justification for the west’s ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/03/26/if-theres-a-plan-for-libya-i-cant-see-it/ I'm pleased Liz Taylor died the way she did.  Not only was it a fairly quick exit, without too much pain and the indignity of her last days covered by the media, but she also had a great funeral. Although she wasn't a member of My Last Song, she may as ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/03/25/liz-taylor-might-have-visited-my-last-song/ A few months ago, during a dreary long November evening, I turned to the solace of music, in particular the music of Neil Diamond. After listening to some of my favourite numbers, I realised just how appropriate many of his songs were to mark the end of someone's life. So I ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/03/16/neil-diamonds-wonderful-songs-are-ideal-to-say-goodbye/ In an attempt to get publicity for its worthwhile Great Daffodil Appeal, Marie Curie Cancer Care published the findings of a survey of where people would like to die. These findings were picked up by the Dying Matters Coalition which, knowing the interests of the tabloid news desks (and probably its ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/03/15/sex-and-death-in-a-witty-exchange/ One of the great things about My Last Song is the exposure I have to fine music. I had the idea for the website because I knew that as music is so important in people’s lives they would want this reflected in their deaths. And so the musical choices for their ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/03/12/death-and-funerals-have-inspired-the-most-wonderful-music/ Marie Curie, the cancer care charity, this week published the findings of a survey that showed that almost two-thirds (63 per cent) wanted to die at home and 71 per cent would like to be surrounded by friends, family or loved ones. In stark contrast, just three per cent wanted ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/03/04/marie-curie-research-highlights-need-for-acceptance-of-death-plans/ The misguided view that we should intervene in the uprising in Libya and the start of the cutbacks to our armed forces is a fortunate coincidence. On Sunday, David Cameron announced that the government was discussing with its allies the imposition of a no-fly zone over Libya to prevent Libyan aircraft ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/03/02/now-is-the-time-to-reassess-our-military-needs/ I felt distinctly worried by David Cameron's announcement that the UK and its allies (the US) are planning a no-flight zone in Libya to hasten the downfall of President Gaddafi. To intervene in another country to affect regime change is against international law. Shooting down the aircraft of another country is ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/03/01/camerons-frightening-military-posturing-is-a-response-to-media-pressure/ I don’t have a television...when, on those rare occasions there is something I want to watch, I ask various friends and ex-partners if I can pop round. The answer is normally yes, and the added bonus is I get snacks and a decent glass of wine at the very least. I ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/03/01/nhs-care-for-the-dying-wont-improve-until-we-accept-that-we-die/ A close friend of mine questioned the future of My Last Song. “Why,” he asked, “would anyone want to visit a website that makes you think about deaths and funerals?” “Because if you don’t think about it until it’s too late, it really is too late," I answered.  "Death is inevitable so ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/02/23/planning-ahead-makes-the-end-so-much-well-better/ “If you live on in the hearts and minds of those who love you, you haven’t really died at all,” was a powerful if somewhat sentimental quote I came across the other day. When I read it I thought it summed up the emotional reasons to have a Lifebox, available via ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/02/22/how-to-live-forever-in-the-hearts-and-minds-of-loved-ones/ Saturday’s Radio Four Today programme included a piece about the shortage of burial land in our cities, citing the example of south east London where cemeteries, including the wonderful but scandalously neglected  Nunhead cemetery, have little or no space. Today presenter Evan Davies suggested to Dr Julie Rugg who chairs the cemetery research group ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/02/20/the-problem-of-lack-of-space-to-bury-our-dead/ Today’s damning review by the Health Service Ombudsman of the medical treatment of elderly patients will make frightening reading for hundreds of thousands of older people and their loved ones. The ombudsman, Ann Abraham, said the patients whose cases she reviewed suffered unnecessary pain, neglect and distress. Her review is even more ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/02/15/nhs-treatment-of-the-old-strengthens-the-case-for-personal-death-plans/ Attending a talk today on the importance of metaphor in our use of language, I thought about the daft names motor manufacturers give their cars. Three German quality car manufacturers, Mercedes, BMW and Audi, are exempt from this criticism as they have decided to use a numbering system that allows you ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/02/11/the-reason-mitsubishi-called-a-car-the-starion/ The Brighton Argus covered the story of a local church funeral at which a mobile phone went off…and the ringtone was ‘Staying Alive’, the Bee Gee’s hit. The most interesting part of this rather amusing story is the comments on the paper’s website. Most contributors thought this was funny and many ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/02/08/people-really-do-care-what-their-last-song-will-be/ I chose several of my facebook friends because I like their views and comments, or they have similar business interests. Others because we share a liking for the same sort of music, arts and entertainment. Why, though, do so many of them also want to tell me about what they ate ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/02/01/if-hitler-had-a-facebook-page/ It’s remarkable that a move to sell off our forests was ever considered likely to go ahead without arousing a great deal of public anger. For the Government, the worst sort of anger – rational, well-informed, articulate, reasoned – and the worst sort of public – middle class, vocal and reasonable. It ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/02/01/leave-the-forestry-commission-alone-we-like-it-as-it-is/ The death today of John Barry, the British filmscore composer, prompted me to select five Barry pieces suitable to be sent off to. Just ten seconds of a John Barry score could tell you all you needed to know about the movie. The melodies and arrangements added excitement, atmosphere, mystery and interest ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/01/31/john-barrys-filmscores-include-wonderful-farewell-themes/ It may seem unlikely but the best two funeral websites in the world are run by UK companies. A top ten list was compiled earlier this month by US funeral guru Brian Burkhardt. And heading the chart was London based My Last Song followed by The Good Funeral Guide, run out ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/01/31/in-an-unusual-but-growing-niche-market-the-uk-heads-the-us/ A ‘good death’ is becoming more discussed as more people get older. The increasing numbers of people aged 70 and over coincides with other societal changes including the breakdown of the family support system, fewer people with strong religious beliefs and reduced resources for a health service that will have ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/01/28/a-good-death-requires-a-personal-approach-not-a-state-imposed-solution/ Co-operative Funeralcare's use of an industry trends survey to place the brand as 'thought leader' in their industry is a well worn marketing device. But the survey doesn't tell us anything we don't know, and in reality highlights the Co-op's attempt to catch up.  In short the survey of 2000 people ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/01/24/co-op-funeral-survey-didnt-tell-us-anything-we-didnt-know/ It’s great news that two UK based websites My Last Song and The Good Funeral Guide have been selected as the world’s top funeral websites by US guru Brian Burkhardt, also known as ‘YourFuneralGuy’. I must say I was surprised when Google Alerts, true to its name, alerted me to the ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/01/21/uk-has-best-funeral-websites-as-baby-boomers-face-their-mortality-online/ Earlier this week I visited one of the big funeral companies to discuss a possible advertising deal on My Last Song. The funeral planning advice articles on the website are increasingly popular and thus valuable to a company with a lot of funeral businesses around the country. The discussion got off to ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/01/20/an-industry-that-will-be-changing-soon-thank-goodness/ Social networking is a great thing.  Thanks to social networker extrordinaire Charles Cowling, I came across lots of US websites and blogs that occupy the funeral, mourning and end of life space. I got in touch to bring My Last Song to their attention and before long, YourFuneralGuy, had put My Last ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2011/01/13/good-to-be-best-in-the-world/ The shocking story of the Nottingham man, aged 66, whose poverty meant he was living in appalling conditions highlights an Age UK survey that showed a third of people aged 60 and over were worried about their heating bills. It seems to this observer that the divisions between rich and poor ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/12/29/divide-between-rich-and-poor-seniors-must-be-closed/ There is a societal change taking place which the Farewell Innovators (My Last Song included) are part of, and which the Dying Matters Coalition is heading. It is the belated recognition that the baby boomer generation born in the two decades following the end of the second world war is now ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/12/21/superior-seniors-what-baby-boomers-become-as-they-grow-old/ AND stands for Allow Natural Death, and it’s a phrase that American researchers believe will catch on more than the current phrase, Do Not Resuscitate. The issue about end of life medical treatment is as topical in the US as it is in this country. In both societies, neither ailing older people ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/12/10/the-and-word/ Retirement often heralds the start of the most fulfilling period in many people’s lives. An article on My Last Song by life coach Paul Brown gives a few suggestions on how to achieve just that. He starts by saying that successful people have a simple recipe for happiness – the pursuit ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/12/08/how-to-make-retirement-a-golden-era/ In an article posted on My Last Song, the Reverend Peter Ratcliff, repudiates the ‘Princess Diana style’ modern funeral, saying it is “little better than an entertainment show”. Reverend Ratcliff, minister at St John's Church of England (Continuing), South Wimbledon and editor of the English Churchman, opposes the growing trend where ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/12/06/coe-minister-attacks-princess-diana-style-funerals-little-better-than-entertainment-show/ Within the My Last Song website is the Lifebox in which people store their memories, personal details and information so they will be remembered for years to come by their loved ones. The Lifebox can also be given as a gift, and as Christmas approaches, it could be the answer for ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/11/25/10-reasons-why-the-lifebox-is-a-great-christmas-pressie/ The Demos report, Dying For Change, is a closely argued and important pamphlet. For those without much time I commend the executive summary, and for those with less time, the thesis of the report is as follows. The demographics of this country mean more people will be dying of old age every ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/11/15/dying-for-change-most-importantly-talking-about-dying/ Yesterday, Sunday, two articles for My Last Song appeared in my inbox. Neither author knew the other was going to contribute, yet the similarities of the two were revealing. One, entitled Solving the Funeral Dilemma, was from Reverend Peter Ratcliff, Minister, St John's Church of England (Continuing), South Wimbledon, and editor ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/11/08/christian-funerals-uncompromised-by-secular-content-and-family-participation/ Among the favourite five farewell songs sent in by a visitor to My Last Song was the Tom Waits version of Somewhere, from West Side Story. It made me think of just how suitable some of the numbers from the great musicals would be as funeral songs, so I asked a ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/10/26/show-stoppers-when-the-final-curtain-closes/ I was interested in a piece called 'It's Your Funeral' on the Irish Times' website. An article I wrote on funeral planning in My Last Song is called 'It's Your Funeral' so if imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, I'm flattered. The journalist did a great job in compiling within ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/10/19/well-done-the-irish/ Author Sarah Dunant contributed last week's A Point of View on BBC Radio 4.   As I listened to it, I wondered if she had been reading my blogs or had got hold of a My Last Song press release as her point of view is remarkably, and encouragingly, similar ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/10/18/a-shared-point-of-view-about-end-of-life-choices/ The phrase 'Farewell innovators' was, I think, first used by Louise Harris of Sentiment a few days ago. Having kindly praised My Last Song, she went on to discuss the organisations that had moved into a niche market - that of helping people to deal with death, dying and bereavement. Talk of ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/10/15/farewell-innovators/ I was fascinated by the story that Robbie Williams had written a requiem to be played at his funeral because he didn't want Angels to mark his passing.  And very resassured because Robbie, without knowing it, has validated the My Last Song concept. Robbie is looking very healthy...married life seems to ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/10/10/take-a-leaf-out-of-robbie-williams-book/ A poll carried out by My Last Song has shown a potentially huge demand for woodland burials in the years ahead. The poll asked visitors to the website to choose what they wanted to happen to their bodies when they died.  Woodland burial received 35 per cent of the votes with ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/10/06/big-rise-predicted-for-woodland-burials-as-popularity-of-cremation-cools/ I'm grateful to longtime friend and songster Gordon Griffiths for bringing these contrasting funerals to my attention. From the Croydon Advertiser 13 August, 2010: "It is always very sad when no-body attends a funeral," said a spokesman for Rowland Brothers, undertakers. "In this case, the 43 year-old man from Addiscombe who we buried ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/10/01/the-importance-of-planning-the-funeral-that-marks-your-life-as-special/ It’s Older People’s Day and this year’s theme is ‘getting and staying active in later life’. Here at My Last Song, this is music to our ears! (no more silly jokes – ed). Early on in the life of My Last Song we decided that we should include a section giving advice ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/10/01/my-last-song-applauds-older-peoples-day/ Following the British Medical Journal’s website discussion about death and dying, Dr Chris Browne who edits the health and fitness section of My Last Song, has put out a statement saying that doctors treating the very old or terminally ill should encourage them to write their own personal death plans. “The ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/09/29/a-doctor-says-dying-patients-should-have-a-death-plan/ I'm rather impressed with the idea of a bronze portrait as a way of being remembered for a very long time. Well, until someone decides to melt it down! I'm not ashamed to be able to offer to visitors to My Last Song the opportunity to have their heads modelled in ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/09/23/a-bronze-portrait-is-a-memorial-that-will-last-forever/ The My Last Song Lifebox is the area of the website where people are encouraged to save their funeral wishes, letter of wishes and the personal details required by their executor when they die. This will reduce the terrible stress and anxiety felt by the relatives immediately after someone dies when ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/09/22/lifebox-properly-used-will-reduce-sense-of-loss/ My Last Song helps people plan their end of life issues. Among the most relevant is your funeral, or that of a loved one. After all, you only get one chance to get it right. A lot of people like to have poems read at the funeral, or to read poems to ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/09/15/funeral-poetry-competition/ Melbourne Archbishop Denis Hart has issued guidelines about how Catholic funerals should be conducted. He states that pastors should avoid allowing the funeral to become a celebration of the deceased person's life. "Secular items such as romantic ballads, pop or rock music, political songs, football club songs are never to be ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/09/10/aussie-funeral-music-rules-wont-catch-on-here/ The new(ish) My Last Song poll asks people to vote on choices of what they want to happen to their bodies when they die. The choices are Burial; Cremation; Eco-friendly church or cemetery burial (which means eco-friendly coffin and charity donations in lieu of funeral flowers); Woodland burial; Used for medical ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/09/04/callous-and-cruel-to-leave-the-family-to-sort-our-your-affairs/ My Last Song is a website that deals with end of life issues as positively and supportively as possible. Mainly people, but also pets. Maybe it should include political parties, because the Labour Party looks as if it's coming to the end of its life. This is the list of candidates to ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/09/01/any-last-songs-to-mark-the-demise-of-the-labour-party/ Things have progressed and in the right direction. I have spoken at length to an officer within the education service at Lambeth, and he likes the IPHOS idea. The idea is that children nominate an older and computer illiterate or unconfident family member who they will mentor to be more computer ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/08/31/progress-with-the-interfamily-personal-history-online-scheme-iphos/ Well, I have to say how pleased I am with the publicity gained by the press release I wrote which gave the results and assessment of the first My Last Song poll. It was about funeral music choices. The fact that the release included some pop song titles meant the Mirror ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/08/18/vote-in-the-second-my-last-song-poll/ Less than one in five people who voted in a poll on funeral music choices on My Last Song chose hymns to be played at their funerals. The poll, carried out between 14 June and 16 August, asked people to vote on the type of music they wanted played at their ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/08/18/funeral-music-poll-results/ My Last Song has made quite a hit on the south coast. I was interviewed this morning on BBC Radio Sussex following a piece in Sunday's Observer in which I was quoted about 'Beaching'. What you ask, is 'Beaching' in this context? It is the currently rare practice of families going ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/08/17/big-in-sussex/ This week the Local Government Association released its 2010 survey into Public Health Funerals, also known as pauper's funerals. The number of public health funerals held by local authorities has remained consistent across the last three financial years (2007/8 to 2009/10) with, on average, 12  per year in  London boroughs, ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/08/13/public-health-funerals/ If a funeral is neither wholly religious, nor fully secular - what do you call it? Funeral expert Professor Tony Walter has described it as 'Pick ‘n' Mix'. However, as it is becoming the most popular funeral service or ceremony in our secular and diverse society, I believe it should be called ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/08/12/the-modern-british-funeral/ My Last Song has a solution which prevents people being ripped off by charlatan will writers, which is exposed in tonight’s Panorama. My Last Song has a secure storage facility called the Lifebox where people put a copy of their will which their executors and close family access after they have ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/08/09/will-writers-rip-offs-uncovered-by-panorama/ I can report progress on the intergenerational communications scheme I wrote about two weeks ago. Well, for a start it is now called the Interfamily Personal History Online Scheme, or IPHOS for short. More importantly, two weeks ago I sent an outline proposal to the Schools Minister, Nick Gibb, and also to ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/08/09/interfamily-personal-history-online-scheme-iphos/ The Lifebox facility within My Last Song could be a very useful gift for a young family member. It can help family bonding and the passing on of family history and information. With the 14-21 age group communicate more online than face to face, intergenerational communication, especially within families, is rapidly disappearing, ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/08/06/a-lifebox-for-a-chil-will-be-a-gift-for-life/ In the middle of the winter I researched an article for My Last Song on the different things people can do with their ashes, or more accurately ask their loved ones to do with them. One of the more interesting, more spiritual, options is called 'Beaching', which if my memory serves ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/08/05/beaching-your-ashes/ There's still a day to go before the end of the first My Last Song poll.  It asks what type of music you want played at your funeral and the choices are between hymns, modern secular, classical secular, classical religious, a mix of those and something else. I'm not going to ... http://blog.mylastsong.com/2010/07/30/what-the-poll-shows/