Ed Miliband was given the opportunity to inspire potential Labour supporters on the Today programme when he was asked to sum up what his Party stood for.

His hugely underwhelming answer: “For people to get on and do better.”

This low point in an appalling interview was almost matched by his statement that by encouraging the people to take action, Labour will get the Government to change its policy “like it did when it dropped its idea to sell the forests.”

The ‘people’ did not get the Government to do a u-turn on this rather silly and marginal policy.  It was a small minority of the middle class who made a lot of noise, as Miliband knows.

With such an uncharismatic and hopeless leader, the Labour Party is likely to be in opposition for many years to come, and as someone who until the Iraq invasion was a Labour supporter, this disappoints me.

I’m also very disappointed that David Cameron is a warmonger. He was the NATO leader who first wanted a no-fly zone over Libya which within days resulted in the Allied air force being the air support arm of the rebels, and hugely destructive NATO missiles raining down on various Libyan targets.

He might think that if enough damage is done to Libya’s armed forces, they will refuse to fight for Gaddifi’s cause and NATO’s military action will have achieved its goal.

But as he observes the burning shells of the Libyan tanks, picked off in a sort of NATO turkey shoot, he should consider the terrible deaths of the Libyan tank crews, burnt alive in seconds if they survive the hundreds of pieces of red hot shrapnel screaming around their turrets. These, Mr Cameron, are someone’s sons, husbands, fathers, brothers.

And does he really think that no innocent civilians will be harmed by the ‘smart’ missiles fired from miles away to destroy compounds in built up areas of Tripoli?

At best the damage will be mental scars, at worst the explosive force and heat that burns the flesh off people, destroys the vital organs and causes the slow and painful deaths of men, women and children who live close to the targets of these vile weapons.  These, Mr Cameron, are families, just like yours.

As they suffer, they won’t be reassured by the knowledge that the destruction of their lives has the backing of the UN, or that your policy is to ‘save the lives of Libyans’. Their lives will be sheer agony and uncomprehending horror for which you are in large part responsible.

Yes, Mr Cameron, you probably will force Colonel Gaddifi from power, but at a completely unacceptable cost.

And of course you won’t be shamed by the opposition, because Ed Miliband supports your policy.

It’s not an Alternative Vote we should be wanting when we go to the ballot box in May, but an alternative political philosophy.

Emotionally I’m an interventionist rather than an isolationist.

When I see innocent people suffer whether at the hands of their rulers, victims of natural disasters, or subject to discrimination and bullying I donate to emergency appeals, support societal change and confront bullies.

But I still cannot see any justification for the west’s military intervention in Libya. Indeed I find it very odd that only a few months after we’re being fed the line that President Gaddafi had reinvented himself as one of the Middle East’s good guys, we are expected to support military action clearly designed to remove him from power.

Why no negotiation with Gaddafi and his diplomats before the precipitous rush into military action? It was that notable opponent of appeasement, Winston Churchill, who said that ‘jaw, jaw is better than war, war.’ There wasn’t much talking to Gaddafi before the war planes went in.

Without little idea of the consequences the west has intervened in a civil war.

It hasn’t started too well. A US jet crash landed in the desert, some Libyan rebels went to rescue the crew and were shot at injured by another US plane.

The inability to distinguish between friend and foe dooms any military action to failure.

The rebels are currently the group on whose side we are intervening, but what happens when they take revenge on the communities and tribes that are loyal to Gaddafi?  Our forces will be in a state of confusion because the political goals of the various governments taking part in this fiasco are ill defined and incoherent.

Why also does the west seem to be so keen to kill innocent Muslims? Images of Libyans killed and maimed by western armed forces, families grief stricken at mass funerals, will without doubt radicalise Muslims in all parts of the world, and we know the terrible consequences of that.

I have a horrible feeling that the western leaders have not learnt from recent mistakes. Libya, like Afghanistan, is a cauldron of factions and tribes whose loyalty is far less to a national leader than to local or provincial government.

The lessons from our failure in Iraq have also been ignored. We have no exit strategy and no plans on how to deal with the power vacuum caused by Gaddifi’s overthrow, and these were overlooked in our haste to destroy Saddam Hussain.

Do our leaders know their history? Libya, created as a country less than 100 years ago, is really the sticking together of two different areas, one with its roots in Greek history, the other with Roman antecedents and 500 kilometres of desert in between. Our intervention might well result in two countries where there is now one, presumably not a regionally destablising outcome we favour.

Am I missing something? If so, please let me know.

I’m pleased Liz Taylor died the way she did.  Not only was it a fairly quick exit, without too much pain and the indignity of her last days covered by the media, but she also had a great funeral.

Although she wasn’t a member of My Last Song, she may as well have been. And she would have appreciated the Lifebox facility.

She had planned her funeral to the last detail. She wanted to be late for it, so this was an instruction. She wanted it to be interdenominational, so this too was an instruction.

The service included a recital of the Gerard Manley Hopkins’ poem The Leaden Echo and the Golden Echo and a trumpet solo of Amazing Grace, played by Taylor’s grandson Rhys.

She had the final performance she wanted, but only because she (and her family) had planned it beforehand.

Which is the reason she would have enjoyed visiting My Last Song, which helps and encourages people to plan their funerals as well as other end of life decisions.

Liz Taylor would also have taken advantage of the Lifebox and used it to store specially recorded videos – and one can imagine how good these would have been; readings – similarly dramatic; her life story; and even her secrets – and I bet there are still some she’s taken to the grave with her.

So if you know of anyone who would like to follow in her footsteps, go out in style and be remembered for years to come, you know where to point them.

And who knows, Liz Taylor might have visited My Last Song…we have been getting lots of traffic from California recently.

A few months ago, during a dreary long November evening, I turned to the solace of music, in particular the music of Neil Diamond.

After listening to some of my favourite numbers, I realised just how appropriate many of his songs were to mark the end of someone’s life. So I spent most of the night playing his songs, listing them, re-ordering them, adding to and amending my choices and when finalised, writing cameo descriptions of their unique appeal and qualities as farewell songs.

The next morning, hardly a word had to be changed when I added the article to My Last Song – called simply Farewell Songs From Neil Diamond.

Now, four months later, I have played every track in the list, and I want you to enjoy the beauty and power of some of these songs. Self indulgent, yes, but please share this indulgence with me by listening to the following by clicking the YouTube clips in the article.

Stones
A haunting, poetic song of recalled love and yearning made more beautiful by the sumptuous arrangement.  Stones marked Diamond’s arrival as a writer of original, complex and exceptionally moving songs, using metaphor and imagery with a confidence that would make him one of the outstanding artists of his generation.

If You Go Away
Originally by Jacques Brel, this is one of the most endearing love songs ever written. Diamond clearly recognised its emotional power and delivers an unforgettably touching, sensitive version.

Play Me
In the most lovely, sensitive couplets Diamond reveals to his lover the extent to which he depends on her for his very existence. ‘You are the sun, I am the moon, You are the words, I am the tune…Play me.’ And if ever a melody was written that matched a song’s sentiments, Diamond achieves it here.

Dear Father
Diamond wrote the score for the film Jonathan Livingstone Seagull including this heart rending tour de force. Symphonic in structure, much of it is instrumental and epic in its aural power and pastoral beauty. ‘Dear Father, we dream while we may,’ is the description of so many lives unfulfilled but no less special.

I’ve Been This Way Before
A particularly appropriate farewell song with Diamond extracting every last drop of emotion. In adding layer upon layer of sound, power and sentiment, Diamond proves he’s the master of poignant sadness. It articulates intense grief, yet also can be read as promising hope and release.

Dry Your Eyes
You get the feeling that Diamond is seeing the crowded church swaying to the swirling rhythms, tears swelling in every eye, the haunting French horns used to scintillating effect as the song comes to an end. ‘And if you can’t recall the reason, can you hear the people sing? Right through the lightening and the thunder to the dark side of the moon, To that distant falling angel that descended much too soon. And come dry your eyes.’ Dry Your Eyes is an almost shameless manipulation of our raw emotions.

Be
Poetry of the highest order, ‘Be as a page that aches for a word, Which speaks on a theme that is timeless, While the one God will make for your day. Sing as a song in search of a voice that is silent, And the one God will make for your way.’ The magnificent arrangement builds into an intense climax, before a gentle closing. The closest Diamond has come to writing a hymn.

Hello Again
Diamond here expresses the grief of parting from a loved one…it hurts so much nothing can disguise it. Unbearable sadness, perfectly expressed.

I Am I Said
Poetic, enigmatic, intense, and emotional with a brilliant arrangement and memorable melody. I Am I Said excites and disturbs in equal measure. His dramatic delivery ensures we share his vulnerability.
Well, if you have got this far, and if you have played some of these tracks I thank you and hope you share my enthusiasm for and love of Neil Diamond’s songs.

As you can gather, they mean a huge amount to me. And, in the right setting, they might mean a lot to others as well.

In an attempt to get publicity for its worthwhile Great Daffodil Appeal, Marie Curie Cancer Care published the findings of a survey of where people would like to die.

These findings were picked up by the Dying Matters Coalition which, knowing the interests of the tabloid news desks (and probably its members also), headlined the piece they wrote on their website: ‘Most men would like to die having sex’.

Why let the facts get in the way of a good story…only one in five men said they would like to spend their final moments engaging in a spot of hanky panky.

More important than the imprecise description of research statistics is the good work the Dying Matters Coalition is doing in getting death talked about.  In this case, the vital issue of where people want to die instead of hospitals which is where most people will experience a possibly lonely and frightening end.

Dying Matters put this item on their Facebook page which resulted in some interesting comments. One woman said she could understand why ‘some blokes would want to go while they’re coming’.

Another reminded us of Peter Sellers’ comment on having a heart attack while making love to Britt Ekland: ‘I didn’t know whether I was coming or going.’

So well done Marie Curie and Dying Matters. Your efforts have resulted in a witty discussion about sex and death…the final taboos are gradually being defeated, and that can only be a good thing.

One of the great things about My Last Song is the exposure I have to fine music.

I had the idea for the website because I knew that as music is so important in people’s lives they would want this reflected in their deaths. And so the musical choices for their last songs would have to be wider than the fairly limited and often inappropriate dozen or so funeral hymns.

Not that there’s anything wrong with hymns chosen for funerals. They can be perfect in the right context, as a contributor to the site has pointed out with great conviction.

I was, therefore, delighted to read a review in the Guardian by the excellent Tim Ashton of a CD of Liszt’s funeral music.

As he says in his review, the music results from the composer’s confrontations with mortality. The album includes Three Funeral Odes of 1866, ferocious laments for Liszt’s son Daniel who died in 1859 and his elder daughter Blandine who was taken from him in 1862.

I have also recently come across the ultimate compilation of classical funeral music, courtesy of Virgin Classics.

It’s called Funeral Music, a simple title which hardly describes the glorious pieces from composers including Samuel Barber, Mozart, Verdi, Beethoven, Faure, Bach and Mahler.

Love and death are two huge inspirations for the creative mind, and nothing better illustrates this that the wonderful music that has been written when ‘confronting mortality’.

So please consider this when choosing the music for the final farewell. Or when simply wanting to hear profound, glorious and memorable music.

Marie Curie, the cancer care charity, this week published the findings of a survey that showed that almost two-thirds (63 per cent) wanted to die at home and 71 per cent would like to be surrounded by friends, family or loved ones. In stark contrast, just three per cent wanted to spend their final hours in hospital.

Yet according to the Office For National Statistics 69 per cent of people in England and Wales died in hospitals and hospices in 2009. And think tank Demos believes that by 2030, just one in ten people will die at home, the rest dying in hospitals and care homes.

I believes that personalised death plans will enable people to be more likely to have the death they want rather than the frightening and lonely end of life experienced in many hospitals. The sort of treatment old and dying people can expect in NHS hospitals was graphically shown on Dispatches earlier this week, confirmation of the Health Service Ombudsman’s criticism of how the NHS deals with the elderly.

The main cause of this often appalling standard of treatment of the dyings is that they don’t have a voice because death is so rarely discussed. Despite the best endeavours of Dying Matters, death is still a taboo subject and therefore the dying haven’t been consulted on how they wish their final days to be spent.

Yet if ailing elderly people and those with terminal illness were encouraged to fill in a death plan, it would mean the involvement of family members and family doctors who would then know what end of life experience the dying person wanted.

Dr Chris Browne, contributing editor of the health section of My Last Song, agrees: “As a GP I believe that death plans should be encouraged as they can empower the patient and their families to take greater control of the end of life experience.  This won’t happen without people’s wishes being discussed, evaluated, written down and then acted upon by family members and medical professionals.”

The death plan template within the Lifebox section of My Last Song covers much more than medical decisions. The headings enable the dying person to be as comfortable in mind and body as possible when their final moments arrive.

These headings allows people to state where they want to die, the level of medical intervention they want, who they want to visit them when they are dying, who should be there, what they want to hear, (music, poetry, prayers), what they want to smell (incense, scented candles, oils, flowers), how they want to be touched (hands held, caressed, gently massaged), and importantly and often overlooked, being clear of worries (knowing their loved ones and pets are cared for, their estate is in order, their will is up to date).

After all, pregnant mothers-to-be are encouraged to create a birth plan so that they are confident that giving birth will be as positive an experience as possible. The same should be achieved if death plans were more widely used.

The misguided view that we should intervene in the uprising in Libya and the start of the cutbacks to our armed forces is a fortunate coincidence.

On Sunday, David Cameron announced that the government was discussing with its allies the imposition of a no-fly zone over Libya to prevent Libyan aircraft killing Libyan protesters.

Thankfully this now seems less likely to be imposed because of the growing realisation that any Western military intervention will:

• Unite the country behind Gaddafi:
• Present Gaddafi with the PR opportunity to show it’s western powers that want him overthrown;
• Provide Muslim extremists throughout the world with proof that the West is at war with Islam;
• Risk the lives of British airmen;
• Cost a lot of money.

This country must return to the doctrine that our military should only be used to protect our national interest or to enforce a UN resolution against nations that break international law by invading another country.

Our soldiers should not be dying in Afghanistan so that girls might get a decent education or banditry might decrease. All we are doing is propping up an unpopular and corrupt regime in Kabul and the quicker we pull out the better. The Taliban won’t be defeated because they are more representative of the diverse and ungovernable peoples of Afghanistan than a distrusted and discredited administration.

As the temptation to intervene in Libya recedes, now is the time to press ahead with reshaping our armed forces.

We don’t need the weapons to fight wars in far off countries which don’t threaten our security. We don’t need the arsenal that assumes conflict with hostile nations, for we are part of what is now an interdependent world where any potentially adversarial nation will lose everything by attempting military action against another nation.

We need a military that has the intelligence and equipment to defend us from terrorists and to join international peacekeeping forces at a realistically modest level.

So when the generals, admirals and air vice-marshals argue that the situation in Libya demonstrates that the cuts to the military budget are wrong, the Government should say that on the contrary, it proves that we shouldn’t plan to intervene in other countries’ internal issues but instead concentrate on our national security.

This will cost far less money, and more importantly, far less loss of life, whether innocent civilians or that of our own servicemen, far too many of whom have been killed not to protect their country, but in pursuit of confused and misguided foreign policy.

I felt distinctly worried by David Cameron’s announcement that the UK and its allies (the US) are planning a no-flight zone in Libya to hasten the downfall of President Gaddafi.

To intervene in another country to affect regime change is against international law. Shooting down the aircraft of another country is an act of war. It will lead to more deaths, more funerals of loved ones here and in Libya.

Haven’t we learnt from our doomed intervention in Iraq and Afghanistan that we should not interfere in the affairs of other countries?

Because of the strategic importance of the middle east and the arab countries of North Africa, the world’s media are covering the story in droves. And as a consequence, western populations are seeing the brutal murders of peaceful protesters by tyrannical dictators such as Mubarak and Gaddafi. Understandably, the public’s sympathy are with these innocent people.

Playing to the public gallery, David Cameron thinks that his popularity will increase if he flexes some military muscle and imposes a no-flight zone.

Think again, please Mr Cameron. Explain what gives you the right to judge good and evil on the international stage.

The North Korean regime is starving its people to death. Mr Mugabe killed and tortured his opponents for over a decade, and people are still being beaten up by his thugs. The Burmese junta is a wicked and cruel dictatorship that has killed thousands of people who want democracy in their country.  These are just some of the countries in which rulers are cruel and despotic beyond imagination, and beyond the coverage of the world’s media.

I’m afraid to say that Mr Cameron’s desire for military intervention is to bolster his popularity, and it frightens me.  He must resist taking measures that are illegal to placate media pressure and uninformed public opinion.  It’s called leadership, Mr Cameron, just as much as is the image of a strong man ordering fighter aircraft to shoot down other aircraft.

Similarly it was media pressure that forced the British government to go to the huge cost and effort of rescuing and evacuating British workers in Libya. Surely this is the responsibility of their employers, the oil companies making huge profits by extracting this valuable commodity from the Libyan desert.

Surely they can afford to have planes on standby to evacuate their workers when, as their risk assessment experts will have recognised, the regimes in Tripoli, Cairo, Tunis and, dare one say it, Riyadh, begin to topple.  Or are they too busy looking at ways to avoid paying tax to the UK government?

I doubt very much they will be handed the bill for the military planes and vessels used to evacuate their staff, so they win both ways. Lots of profit, not much tax to pay and when things go wrong, the bill is paid for by the taxpayer.

Just because the Sun and the Daily Mail cry out for action is no reason to break international law, engage in deadly military activities and cost the country millions of pounds it can’t afford. We would do better for the government to take on tax avoiding corporates rather than dictatorships in foreign parts.

I don’t have a television…when, on those rare occasions there is something I want to watch, I ask various friends and ex-partners if I can pop round. The answer is normally yes, and the added bonus is I get snacks and a decent glass of wine at the very least.

I felt unable to call on this resort last night as the programme I wanted to watch was Dispatches on Channel 4 which featured three people close to death who filmed the treatment they were given by the NHS.

I tried to watch it on my PC, but the broadband connection was playing up, so I only watched a little but what I saw was shocking, and this has been confirmed by comments, particularly those on the Dying Matters facebook page.

NHS end of life treatment is appalling, but this is to a large extent due to the client base having such low expectations and failing to demand better service.

Contrast it to the facilities and level of treatment provided to expectant mothers.

Mothers-to-be are given lots of advice, midwives and pre-natal specialists encourage questions, maternity wards are colourful, pleasant, uplifting places and individual birth plans are discussed. There’s a sense of well-being and an openness in facing the forthcoming event.

Death is as inevitable as the birth, but it’s treated very differently. Of course, one doesn’t expect medical staff to approach the end of a life with cheerful smiles. There needs to be a much more sympathetic and careful approach.

But as the Dispatches programme proved, sympathy and understanding are often sadly lacking when NHS staff deal with the dying, and it’s mainly due to the fact that families of the very elderly don’t address the forthcoming death.

Until people are able to look a doctor or nurse in the eye and say ‘I want to discuss how you will treat my loved one at the end of their life’ things will change hardly at all. While we continue to ignore death, find it uncomfortable to address, postpone the distress or just hand the consequences to others, we shouldn’t complain too much if the quality of its medical care management falls below our expectations.

I’ve gone on about it before, but a major step to improve this situation will be the acceptance of personal death plans which will involve the ailing patient, close loved ones and the appropriate medical professionals.

The My Last Song death plan is a holistic model, covering more than medical treatment but also the mental, emotional and spiritual needs of the patient so that at the end of life the dying person is in a state of comfort, peace, contentment and happiness.

There may or may not be a journey then embarked on, but if there is, it’s a good place from where to start.