When My Last Song launches later in the spring,  its purposes are to encourage and support people to :

• Plan the unique funeral that is a positive and uplifting remembrance of their lives;
• Live long and good quality lives in their older age rather than being lonely, neglected and depressed;
• Understand the end of life care issues they will face and the importance of planning according to their wishes;
• Put their affairs in order rather than leaving this to grieving loved ones;
• Put their memories, achievements, life stories, personal and family social histories in a secure digital Vault for future generations to access and understand more about the person whose life has been captured.

I want to have a authoritative section on gay and lesbian funeral issues and am looking for a contributor.

The topics I have in mind are:

• How to cope when a same sex partner dies – bereavement, support, moving on.
• Have attitudes among funeral directors, clergy, officiants really changed?
• Different in life, different in death…gay funerals that are honest.
• Send off in style…how to organise a great gay farewell party.

However, some of my associates believe this isn’t relevant, arguing that gay and lesbian people don’t face specific issues around death and preparing/planning for it, and so the current advice is equally relevant for gays and lesbians .

I’m not convinced…I have been to a funeral where the families of a gay couple were in denial that they lived together, and also where the religious celebrant was a bit unsettled when giving the tribute to a very openly gay woman.

I’ve also heard of, but unfortunately not been invited to, outrageous gay send off parties that went on long into the night in Brighton, complete with everyone joining in with gay anthems, drag queens in attendance and dancing till you dropped.  Sounds a good farewell to me!

Are there any gay or lesbian journalists willing to contribute ‘Gay and Lesbian Funeral Issues’ content to mylastsong.com?  If yes, please email me at playlists@mylastsong.com.

My Last Song believes the last part of your life should be the best part.

And where possible, people should be as fit and healthy for as long as possible, which is why it has a comprehensive Health and Fitness section with advice such as Staying Healthier Longer.

One of the age related conditions we cover is Incontinence, urinary and bowel.

Bowel incontinence, other than short term due to stomach bugs, food poisoning or dietary issues, is serious and should be reported to the doctor.

Urinary incontinence is one of those conditions that can make older age seem tiresome and depressing.

Sufferers get embarrassed, lack self confidence, feel restricted in their day to day activities – so go out less, feel less inclined to socialise.

So clearly, if you want to enjoy the latter years of your life, you should overcome urinary incontinence. And, with determination and patience, you can.

The key is bladder retraining. In short, this is identifying the type of urinary incontinence from which you are suffering, and then take measures to train your bladder to work properly again.

You should gradually increase the lengths of time between passing water.  And also increase the time you take between feeling the urge to urinate and actually emptying the bladder.

There are also exercises to take, most useful being the tightening of the pelvic floor muscles.  The very excellent Bladder and Bowel Foundation has easy to follow fact sheets for men and women which guide you through the exercises.

So, if incontinence is making your older age miserable, don’t give in, take control and get your bladder retrained.

My Last Song is a website that helps people choose the music they want to be remembered by, and organise their funerals/wakes/celebration parties so that their choices are played…not what other people think they would like played.

Yes, we believe a good life deserves a good ending, one that is positive and celebratory, not the dreary anonymous farewells that so many are given.

To encourage people to make their personal choices, we want some notable playlists from individuals who people will be interested in.

So, well known musicians, artists, celebrities, broadcasters, disc jockeys, politicians (past misdemeanors forgiven), consider what pieces of music, readings, video clips, you want played at your farewell events, and we will feature them.

Or indeed anybody who thinks their choice of music to mark their endings will interest and inspire others to make their choices.  If you submit My Way by Frank Sinatra, you are disqualified.

The list can amuse, shock, inspire and surprise.

We are limiting the choice to five.

As well as the pieces, a brief description of why you have chosen the piece will be very helpful and informative.

Send as soon as you can to playlists@mylastsong.com.

Many thanks…and spread the word.

An epitaph is an inscription on a tomb/grave/memorial plaque written to praise or describe the deceased, or draw attention to their humour or achievements.

And you would think that there are scores, no hundreds, of memorable epitaphs on graveyards around the country, around the world.

But in doing some online research for an article I wanted to write for My Last Song (I thought ‘My Last Words’ would be helpful in planning your funeral) I was disappointed in how few memorable epitaphs there were.

There are lots of puns on names, lots that show the character defects or virtues of the passed individual (I’ve been told that people don’t like the word ‘deceased’ – why not?),  and some that give an indication of the cause of death.

And the vast majority are boring, anonymous and, dare I say it, assuming the dead person is going to a better place. I am sceptical about religion as an ‘insurance policy’, but lots of people take it out. ‘Hey God…I really do believe, so please let me in!’

But hardly any humour, and nothing particularly profound.

Epitaphs are either done badly or taken too seriously. There is even an academic book on epitaphs, Quoting Death in Early Modern England, subtitled The Poetics of Epitaphs Beyond the Tomb by an American professor, Scott L. Newstok who also co-edited a collection of essays on Macbeth in African-American culture.

As I said in my article, a bad epitaph is a fate worse than death, so I recommend that you think long and hard about the words you will be remembered by when family, friends and strangers walk past your interred remains and read your headstone or plaque.

If you come across memorably funny or profound epitaphs or have written one for yourself, confident in the fact that one day you will be, er, deceased, please let me know or use the comment box after the article in mylastsong.com.

And if any comedians and/or philosophers have already written theirs, I invite them to add these by commenting on the article. I am curious to know what Stephen Fry wants as his last words…

My Last Song has a section in which you can find out about the funeral customs of the main world faiths (not sects),  as well as the many Christian denominations. Why did I think this was important?

1.  We are a diverse society and we should realise other communities and faiths ‘send off’ their members in different ways, especially as more members of these communities are now reaching old age .

2.  We may be invited to attend the funeral of a friend who is from another faith. We should know what is expected of us, say in the way of funeral flowers, or how we should dress.

3.  We may want to choose parts of another custom to include in our own funeral.

4.  Essential to know if you are in a mixed heritage family or relationship.

5.  If we know about how a faith observes the funeral rights, we know more about the faith itself.

A little boy who lives a few doors from me told me his latest news. “My hamster died yesterday and we’ve just had a funeral for it.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” I replied. “Oh no, don’t be sorry,” he said, “we made sure he went to heaven!”

Which got me thinking: ‘is it a good idea to give your pet a funeral?’

Probably not if you are an adult, living with adults, and you don’t believe in heaven and hell. If, when little tiddles runs out of his nine lives, you lower him into a hole in the garden and  ask God to accept him in heaven, be prepared for ridicule from your flat mates.

However, for a family with small children, a funeral for a pet should be seriously considered whether that pet is a goldfish, hamster, cat, dog or any other living creature. My Last Song has a section on pet funerals.

Reasons:

1.  It will help children understand mortality – all living things die.

Experiencing emotions at a young age enables children to cope better with emotional issues that will inevitably affect their lives.

2.  It will show that people should care when someone or something close to them dies.

If adults seem to be indifferent to death, especially the death of something close to them such as the family pet, it gives a bad message.

3.  It will enable children to discuss what happens after death.

The funeral of a pet will encourage questions such as ‘What happens to the body when it’s in the ground?’ ‘Do living things have a spirit?’ ‘Do animals go to heaven?’

4.  It will enable children to take  responsibility – such as making a marker, writing a poem or tribute or painting a picture.

Always a good idea to give children a sense of responsibility, and this is one they will take seriously.   Remember to praise their efforts.

5.  It will bring the family together, reminiscing about adventures the cat got into, or the character of a dog.

This is somewhat more difficult lower down the food chain but maybe you had an amusing goldfish or eccentric stick insect.

6.  It will prepare children to understand what is happening when they attend the funerals of members of their families or close friends.

Another way of using this as education for later life…you could have the family dress in black, leave flowers over the grave, say a prayer, read a eulogy…more difficult for the goldfish than the faithful family hound, but you get the idea.

7.  It will demonstrate that grieving and showing emotion – bereavement – is normal, acceptable and helpful.

Gone are the days of the stiff upper lip, when showing emotion was a sign of weakness. Children will be upset and should be encouraged to grieve as this will  help closure. A child can get very close to most pets.

8.  You can discuss the reasons for death.

More educational opportunities. You can explain why the pet died: illness, accident, to end its suffering.  Children will then understand that death is unpredictable and makes people unhappy.

9. Opportunity for a party.

Rather like the funeral for a human family member, after the funeral will be a reception which can often be an affirmative and enjoyable party with friends and family coming together to celebrate the life ended.

10. Quiet contemplation.

While the children are looking tearfully as the hole is filled, you can think to yourself: no more vets fees, no more cleaning up after the wretched thing, no more smelly food, no more having to ask someone to look after it when you go on holiday.  And then your little girl looks into your eyes, still moist with tears, and says: “Daddy, when can we get a new kitten?”

So it is only when you really get old that you should consider that you are mortal and plan your funeral, right? Wrong: because you never know what’s going to happen.  Here’s a good example….

Dave Freeman wrote 100 Things to do before you die.  It became an international best-seller and with the proceeds he moved into a lovely home in California.  At the age of 47, and probably still unused to the layout of his new mansion, he fell down some stairs and died of his injuries.

With unknowing prescience he wrote in the introduction: “This life is a short journey. How will you fill it with the most fun, and visit all the coolest places on earth, before you pack those bags for the very last time?”  Mr Freeman’s family said he had only managed to visit half the places he recommended in his book.

So rather than letting your age determine when you plan your ending, here are 20 lifestyle choices which mean you should plan your funeral now:

1 Playing dangerous or extreme sports

Lots of sports are dangerous, including climbing, mountain biking, rugby, gravity and balance sports (such as skateboarding, surfing, streetlugge), hang gliding, bull running, scuba diving, pot holing, motor sports…

2 Taking recreational drugs

How often do we read of people dieing because they overdose on ecstacy; or cocaine; or crack; or heroin; or amphetamines;  or ketamine. Dope clouds your judgement and messes up you lungs. Acid can fool you into thinking you are indestructible.  Of course, it won’t happen to you, but just in case, write down your funeral wishes now before the next session…

3 Riding a bike

Due often to their own stupidity, but usually more so that of car and lorry drivers, cyclists are the roads’ most vulnerable users.

4 Riding a motor bike;

Same as 3 above, though slightly less vulnerable and in my experience a great deal more road savvy…but how often is it the motorist’s fault: ‘I just never saw him!’

5 Part of the armed forces;

Whether victims of improvised bombs or rocket attacks in countries we have no business fighting in; or peacekeeping where there is just about a moral argument for our troops to be involved; or training accidents, being a member of Her Majesty’s armed forces means you have a much higher chance of being killed than the rest of us.

6 Member of the police force

All too often victims of armed robbers.

7  Armed robbers

Often the victims of armed police (so don’t be an armed robber).

8 Very rich owner of a house that is tempting to armed robbers

Thieves are becoming more dangerous, and the numbers of burglaries involving armed robbers is growing. Confront them, and it may well end in tragedy.

9 Screwing someone else’s partner

The whole sexual infidelity thing can end in more than tears. When jealous rage takes over, judgement goes out the window and revenge takes hold. So whichever corner of the triangle you occupy, be careful…it’s a dangerous place once you are found out, or once you find out!  In future one of those cosy conversations could concentrate on the kind of funeral you want should ‘you know who’ finds out…

10 Drinking heavily

Long term health hazard. More likely to fall over, to get into fights, to have domestic accidents, and absolutely lethal to yourself and to others when driving or riding, or indeed walking…make that stumbling.  If  you persist in drinking heavily, in your more sober moments think about planning your funeral while still capable of rational decision making.

11 Dangerous jobs

Despite the best endeavours of the Health and Safety industry, some jobs are dangerous.  These include scaffolder, window cleaner, race track steward, spy, magician’s assistant, lollipop man or woman on busy road, lion trainer, prostitute, terrorist, bull fighter, bouncer, human cannonball, roofer, deep sea fisherman, lifeboat crew…If you have one of these jobs, best to plan for the funeral you want now – who knows what tomorrow will bring?

12 Dangerous locations

Some places are more dangerous than others. A house on a busy road is more likely to be hit by a lorry than one in the middle of a field. Getting to your house on a busy road will be more dangerous than if you live in a quiet village. Be aware of  sea views…one day that cliff could erode and hey presto, you are on the beach with your house on top of you! Also consider the neighbours…can you be sure the people next door aren’t  making home made bombs?  If they are, can you be sure they know what they are doing?

13  Owning a dangerous pet (or visiting someone who owns one)

The docile rottweiler may lose its temper; the python might crush you; the leopard is no longer willing to be a playful kitten; the crocodile’s jaws can cut you in half…do you know of other dangerous pets that people have? If so, don’t visit them as dangerous animals are more likely to harm strangers.

14 About to have a baby

Research into maternal death found that the death rate had risen from  almost ten per 100,000 women in 1987  to almost 14 per 100,000 in 2005.  Actually, it was not that many – 295. The rise was put down to increased obesity in young women leading to heart disease. So if you are pregnant and overweight, you might want to add a death plan to the birth plan.

15 Selling a kidney or having other unwise medical interventions

Messing with the body, particularly when done by untrained or illegally practicing surgeons can easily lead to death. So if you are embarking on such foolish paths, finalise your funeral plans before the surgery.

16 Considering suicide

Despite the utter stupidity and selfishness of people who consider suicide, a small proportion attempt it and a fair amount have a successful conclusion. They die. Dead people have funerals.  So, should you be so utterly stupid and selfish that you are considering suicide, it’s a good idea to play your funeral now.

17  If you walk under places where suicidal people might jump from – bridges, tall buildings, cliffs

One of the most common ways suicidal people commit suicide is jumping from bridges, tall buildings and cliffs. So, take a risk assessment of where you regularly walk or worse still, stand for fairly long periods. Being hit by a person falling from a decent height will almost certainly kill you, so it’s best to have planned the funeral you want before the idiotic and selfish suicide lands on you.

18 About to enter hospital

More people die in hospital than anywhere else.  So if you are about to enter hospital, plan for the worst.

19  Jehovah’s Witness

If you are a Jehovah’s Witness you will know you are not allowed blood transfusions that might save your life. A life not saved is a life lost…funeral time.  Planned yours yet?

20 Young gang members

If you are a member of a teenage gang, think ahead!  Especially if you are involved in gangs where knives and guns are used in fights over drug dealing; girls; lack of respect; revenge; and to show courage and strength.  Knives and guns lead to death.  Death requires funerals. So, if you are a young guy in a gang and armed with a knife or a gun, plan your funeral now!

So if you fall into one of these 20 categories, don’t put your funeral planning off until it is too late.

Instead, ensure you go out in the style you want, with the music you want playing and the tribute you want written, and the people you want to attend being there.

And if you are planning your funeral, you should also write your will.

If you don’t do it, your funeral and financial affairs will be organised by your family or the state, and neither are likely to do it well.

Here are 20 events and activities to consider as a way of putting a smile on your loved ones’  faces when you have gone. So think of which of your loved ones you want to pay for and put an instruction in your will.  It is priceless to think of  their pleasure and enjoyment, knowing they will be thinking of you for a long time after you’ve gone.

1.  A weekend away at a memorable location

Country house hotel; Scottish castles; French chateaux;  outdoor activities centres; haunted houses…the choice is pretty wide.  Think about what you want to achieve and who you want to achieve it for.  Think about ‘nice little touches’…such as a hidden recording of your voice in the ‘haunted house’; or putting messages in the hotel rooms; or adding a competitive element to the outdoor activities.

2.  A meal at a quality restaurant or hosted by a friend or family member

People always appreciate a good meal, so why not select a good restaurant and draw up the guest list. Or if one of your family or friends is a particularly good cook, get their agreement to host the evening, and you can then help select the menu, the wines, the seating plan. Added touches could be messages to guests, playlist of background music, after dinner entertainment…

3.  Go on your favourite walk

If you had a favourite walk, you might want your nearest and dearest go on it, and think of you as they enjoy the outstanding countryside, the country pub, the peace, the fresh air…they will enjoy the experience and know more about you and what gave you special pleasure. You can add value by doing a narrative of the walk that describes what it is you liked about the walk.  You could even ask one of your family to organise a special ‘treasure hunt’ as part of the walk, with the hidden treasure being things that will make the walkers think about you.

4.  Visit your favourite destination

Stately home? lovely garden? secluded beach? art collection? unusual museum? restful church? Do  you have a favourite destination, somewhere that lifts your spirits, somewhere you feel you belong, somewhere that has special significance to you?  Share that place with the people you are leaving behind, so they share the pleasure and in doing so will know more about you.

5.  Paint balling

Great fun for everybody! At the end of the session they will be laughing and sharing tactics. And who will they thank and remember with fondness? Why you, of course!

6.  Karting

Again, a few hours people will look back remembering what a great time they had, and knowing it was you who who made it possible. They will really appreciate the good time you gave them.

7.  White knuckle experience

If you want them to be scared, to scream, to think the end has come, treat them to one of any number of suitable ‘white knuckle’ experiences. Examples are sky diving, bungee jumping, white water rafting, zorbing (hurling yourself down a hill in a large hamster-ball),

8.  Ballooning

A few people in one balloon, or lots of people in several balloons…and everyone will really enjoy themselves.  Exciting, peaceful, memorable.

9.  Gliding

Gliding clubs will organise for people to go up with a trained pilot…or you could splash out on a lesson. Either way, those who you invite to enjoy the ‘buzz’ that is gliding will thank your memory for it.

10.  A night at your local

You enjoyed it down the pub for all those years…and when your nearest and dearest walk into the bar, they can be greeted by the other locals and swap stories and buy rounds. Umm, nice way to be remembered.

11.  Wine tasting event

Something to think about if you enjoyed wine and you want your loved ones to enjoy it too. Nominate somebody suitable to host it, and invite those of your family and friends who you think will enjoy it.  By the end of the evening they will be singing your praises.  Nice touch: you could do the tasting notes.

12.  A riverboat cruise

Who will they talk about when in a confined space with lots to drink?  The person who made it possible, of course!  So you won’t be forgotten…

13.  Watching your favourite team

If your loved ones know that you were a devoted supporter of a particular team, they will appreciate why you have splashed out so they can experience the pleasure you got watching the Hammers (some mistake, surely – ed).

14.  A round of golf

If you have a group of golf partners, sponsor a round and the prize at the end.  Invite others to join if appropriate. You could make it an annual event…

15.  A day at the races

Make someone responsible for getting the people you want to enjoy a day at the races at the same course at the same time.  Donate some betting money.  And no matter who wins or loses, they will all look back on you with a smile!

16.  A shopping spree

Particularly welcome for the ladies in your life…they can spend a day doing ‘retail therapy’, spending money you have left them. When wearing the new dress, shoes, hat etc they will think nice thoughts of you!  Be careful who you invite, of course.

17.  Pampering at a spa

At the end of the session they will feel healthier, fitter and better able to face life, thanks to you…nice way to be remembered.

18.  Learning to play an instrument, dance, sing or other appropriate activity

This is the sort of gift to give to a few of the younger members of the family. It can give them the start of a career or just a ‘nice thing to be able to do…much appreciated by their mums and dads too.

19.  Memorable night out – theatre or comedy club

Even if you ask them to be happy at your funeral, they won’t be.  Funerals are sad.  But if a few weeks later they spend a great night out at a show or at a comedy night, then they will be happy and laughing.  Which is how you want to be remembered, right?

20.  Helping others

Get your loved ones to remember you by getting them to do something for someone who is less fortunate…an older relative or neighbour whose garden needs doing, or whose house needs decorating.  Make the task as enjoyable as possible by supplying some nice refreshments…and hopefully the reward will also be in helping someone who deserves some help.

This is by no means an exhaustive list, but some suggestions that will give you ideas of how to be ‘gone but not forgotten’!

The Herefordshire father who mixed his son’s ashes with ink to make a tattoo memorial of the little boy shows the imagination that is now being shown when thinking of what to do with the ashes of a loved one.

It means the blog I posted on 1 March (10 Things to do with your ashes) should now be retitled to be 11 Things to do with your ashes.

It shows that there is a growing trend of mixing the ashes with a bonding agent, as among the ten things I mentioned were adding ashes to oil paint which results in a bumpy texture that can be used in the portrait of the dead subject, or landscape of the deceased’s favourite view.

They can also be mixed with clay to form, among other items, a teapot. Quite a conversation piece, this, while pouring tea for the visitors. “Say ‘when’…I do like using this teapot, it’s got bits of dear old Harry in it.”

What other uses for ashes come to mind?  Mixed with cement to make mortar – so a wall will for the foreseeable future have a few of its bricks stuck together with a loved one’s ashes.

Or you could adapt the idea of having the ashes made into a false reef and sent to the bottom of the sea (as now popular in, yes, the US) and make something to put into the bottom of the aquarium for the fish to swim in and out of.

Mixed with plaster of paris to make a cast could be another idea to experiment with.  Find a local glass blower…usually very creative people and ask for their suggestions.  The ashes can be added to the mixture which, when heated and blown, becomes a useful or artistic glass object.

Further suggestions on what to do with ashes most welcome.

Being cremated isn’t good for the environment – burning the coffin and body takes a lot of energy and releases dioxins into the atmosphere. Apparently 11 per cent of the mercury contamination of fish in the North Sea comes from crematoria – it’s where the mercury emissions from fillings in cremated bodies end up.

It’s estimated that this could increase to nearly a third in a few years because of the huge numbers of fillings in the older generations. Something to think about when tucking into your cod and chips…or indeed, going for a bracing swim in the North Sea.

Even so, 70 per cent of people are currently cremated when they die (rather than the other way round), and this will continue for the foreseeable future, which will make the fish in the North Sea even madder.

David Prendergast, of  Sheffield University, concluded after conducting research into how people dispose of ashes, that Britons are becoming more unorthodox in dealing with death. He supported this by citing the growth in the market for personalised mortuary products, most of which deal with our ashes in one way or another.

Once you, or your loved one, is cremated, what do you want to do with the ashes?

The ashes of a cremated body weigh between five and seven pounds, which is a lot.  So you can do different things with small amounts of your ashes!

Here are some options:

1. Normal, traditional disposal

Most people are traditional when it comes to death and funerals. And still the most common things to do with your ashes are spreading them on the crematorium’s rose garden or burying them in a cemetery or churchyard. Quite a lot of ashes are left with funeral directors, where they will be stored until claimed.  Does anyone know how undertakers dispose of unclaimed ashes?  Maybe a question for the National Association of Funeral Directors who run vocational courses which must cover this sort of issue.

2. Put into memorials for the house and garden.

You won’t be surprised to find out that this trend started in the US.  Now in this country there are increasing numbers of companies that make structures into which the ashes are contained, and which then adorn the living room or the garden.  Some are beautiful, some are classic, some are appallingly tacky, some are a bit weird such as inside hollowed books. There are increasingly funky designs and materials for the memorials into which your ashes can stored.  I suppose it’s a talking point when the conversation flags.

3. Being part of something useful.

You could have some of your ashes filling the void behind a clock face in specially made clocks. This is more popular for the ashes of family pets – yes, no joking, people pay money to put Rover’s remains in the back of a bespoke clock.  But what’s good for the dog could be just as good for you, so consider requesting your loved ones to put your particles within a clock on the mantle piece.  Then imagine the look on people’s faces when your family says to a guest: ‘Just look at the time…did you know, dad’s ashes are in that clock?’

4. Birdbaths and sundials.

There are companies making specially constructed birdbaths and sundials with voids in the base into which your ashes can be poured. The hole is then securely stopped, the object turned the right way up and then placed in the garden as a permanent memorial.  Nice one, that.

5. Mixed with paint

Yes, there are artists who will paint your portrait or a landscape of your favourite view, and mix some of your ashes with the oil paint to give it a unique texture. Rather unromantically, one such artist, Mike Smith of Devon, perfected his technique using cigarette ash.

6. Turned into jewellery.

No I’m not kidding, some people will pay lots of money to wear jewellery made out of a loved one’s ashes. They can be made into diamond like gem stones and glass pendants, or put into small containers and worn as display jewellery.  This is a sort of 21st-century version of Victorian mourning jewellery, when it was common to put a piece of the deceased’s hair in a locket.

7. Scattered over a favourite piece of water.

You are not allowed to spread ashes over the sea too close to the shoreline for obvious reasons…how would you like to come out of the sea after a swim, covered in grey ash?

But, as long as you (or probably your loved ones) get permission you can be sunk to the bottom of the sea, river or lake, or even garden pond, in a slowly dissolving eco-friendly container. In the US, it is possible for your ashes to be turned into memorial reefs around which pretty fish swim.  The company will give loved ones the GPS survey to record the specific longitude and latitude of the memorial reef.

8. Sprinkled at your  favourite sports club.

Increasingly popular, but some caution here…don’t expect all your ashes to be spread over the playing surface or fairway… most groundsmen will politely refuse this request although a small symbolic amount might be allowed. Larger sports clubs have training grounds and other areas where it is allowed.

9.  Sent into the sky in special firework rockets.

There are companies that make fireworks for this purpose.  The ashes are mixed with the explosive to form the display.  You can get a lot of rockets with seven pounds of ashes as part of the mixture!  I suggest a great beach party, with your favourite music playing, all your friends and loved ones having a great time, and midway through the rave, up you go in the rockets exploding over the sea.

10. Put into special shotgun cartridges and fired into the sky.

Again, the ashes are mixed with the explosive charge, and BANG, off you go, spread far and wide. Presumably popular with huntin’, shootin’, fishin’ types.

And, to make life easier (pardon the pun) there are purpose designed and built ‘scatter tubes’ which make the spreading of ashes easier.

More information about your ashes and memorials appear in www.mylastsong.com.